SHIT HAPPENS

Las cosas malas suceden, y es simplemente así.

Aunque a veces parece que le suceden sólo a uno, no deja de ser un parecer, pues there’s plenty of shit for everyone!

Aquí, diferentes maneras filosóficas de enfocar este hecho que Forrest Gump fue el primero en elucubrar:

AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?

ATHEISM: I don’t believe this shit!

NIHILISM: Who needs this shit?

COMMUNISM: Equal shit happens to all people.

CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.

PSYCHOANALYSIS: Shit happens because of your toilet training.

ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.

RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this shit happen to someone else.

JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US?

MYSTICISM: What weird shit!

TAOISM: Shit happens.

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, “Shit happens”.

ZEN: (What is the sound of shit happening?)

ISLAM: Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.

QUAKER: Let’s not fight over this shit.

NEW AGE: Visualize shit not happening.

DEISM: Shit just happens.

EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn’t happen; shit is.

BUDDHISM: Shit happens, but pay no mind.

HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.

SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.

JEHOVAH’s WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armageddon.

HOPI (indios estadounidenses): Corn fertilizer happens.

BAHA’I (fe unitaria): It’s all the same shit.

RASTAFARIANISM: Let’s smoke this shit.

MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can’t discuss it during Lodge.

RED CROSS: Shit happens - send money.

Shit happens, c’est la vie!